Picky Eating in Toddlers & Preschoolers: Holiday Meals Without Stress
Time to read 2 min
November brings chilly weather, cozy meals, and big family dinners. But if you're parenting a toddler or preschooler, you might feel extra stress around picky eating during holidays—especially when your little one only eats the roll and skips everything else.
Here's the truth: picky eating at holiday meals is completely normal. Your child will still get the nutrients they need over time.
Why It Happens
Picky eating usually stems from a blend of sensory sensitivity and a child's natural need for control. Research shows it typically peaks in toddlerhood and preschool years—not because something is "wrong," but because it's developmentally normal (Taylor et al., 2015).
Feeding expert Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility model is trusted and research-based:
- Parent's job: Decide what, when, and where food is offered.
- Child's job: Decide if (and how much) they eat.
This structure builds trust around food and reduces mealtime tension (Satter, 1995).
Supporting Tools (With Empathy in Mind)
Empathy—the heart of strong parenting—can guide how we offer food, support, and boundary-setting. For more on building connection through empathy, see our blog post, The Power of Empathy in Parenting .
Here are additional tools to gently support your child:
- Play-based exposure: Explore food through touch, smell, and play—no pressure to eat.
- "I Tried It" chart: Track small steps like sniffing or licking new foods.
- Mealtime visuals: Use icons for "calm body," "try bite," "all done."
- Family-style meals: Let toddlers serve themselves to promote autonomy.
What Research Tells Us About Progress
- Toddlers often need 8–15 calm exposures to a new food before trying it (Carruth & Skinner, 2000).
- Children regulate their intake over time—think week, not day—so remember holiday meals are just one data point (Birch & Fisher, 1998).
Tools You Can Use
- No-Pressure Plate: Include a tiny taste—no expectation to eat, just to explore.
- Add Small Portions: Slip new foods into their plate or lunchbox during prep.
- Log Exposures: Celebrate any interaction—touch, smell, glance counts.
- Stick to Roles for a Week: You provide; they choose.
Language That Calms
- "You don't have to eat it. Just touch it or smell it."
- "Your job is to listen to your belly. My job is to offer interesting foods."
- "No bite today? That's OK. Just noticing the food is progress."
Helpful, Playful Reads
- Becoming a Food Explorer — Jill Castle
- Yummy in My Tummy — Sam Lloyd
- Green the Gorilla — Georgie Birkett
- Eat Your Greens, Reds, Yellows, Purples (DK)
- Every Night Is Pizza Night — J. Kenji López-Alt
Explore these with joy, not pressure.
Bottom Line
Think in weeks, not days. One holiday meal doesn't make or break. Success is measured in comfort, curiosity, and connection—not just bites eaten.
If you'd like more support, our Raising Happy Eaters course dives deeper into feeding tools, confidence-building, and family mealtime strategies. Nurtured Nest
References
- Birch, L. L., & Fisher, J. O. (1998). Pediatrics
- Carruth, B. R., & Skinner, J. D. (2000). J Am Diet Assoc
- Satter, E. (1995). Journal of Nutrition Education
- Taylor, C. M., et al. (2015). Appetite
